Right. The question is why has ‘this’ or should I say ‘that’ left me feeling the way I do, let’s face it he could have done a lot worse, it’s just I’ve spent the last five months flitting from feeling to feeling with him and its left me feeling, like I should be different, its worn me out. I feel weak. I knew starting that was a bad idea and people told me that and I didn’t listen I just wanted to find out for myself and I did. I feel so different and I now I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not I just feel... empty... I don’t know why I feel like there’s something missing. Now I’ve just found out something that makes me so happy.... but I don’t know how I should feel at the moment I feel amazing! But will it last... I’m this girl that’s weird and loud, but at the moment that’s been my mask. he's probably thinking what’s so bad that fucks your head. But it has and he doesn’t even realise coz of course compared to him I’m seen as nothing in his eyes. I’m down. I’m not sure what my version of down is. But I’m down. At the moment I can’t seem to get past it. Everything is dark and moody and most of the things in my life aren’t like that in reality. I’m just weak I’m tired and full of regret. I feel like should change, even though I don’t want to, and would he think less of me if I did? Coz he means so much.
I need someone to know this. But who and in a way I don’t, this should be a private thing for once....
I can honestly say, I don’t know how you did this to me.... but you are changing everything and it great.
And thanks to them x
I just feel weak.
Iloveyou. Miss unknown x
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